thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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