weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
