I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
