I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ketchup is God's man juice
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
