i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
