I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
