you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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