I wanna bring you to show and tell
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
