My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize