i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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