you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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