Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
