everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
