the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
