what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
