I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
