he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
