apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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