North Korea, Best Korea!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
