And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
