I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
