Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
