Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
