Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She bit a glass in half.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
