rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
where am i from again
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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