i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
