i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He passed out mid-signature
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
