as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
