Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
