Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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