Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
