well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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