Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
