i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
