Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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