can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
