im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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