First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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