i permit you to call me
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
