ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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