I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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