So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
