Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
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