Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
