you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize