Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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