thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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