If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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