therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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