I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
