My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
