She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize