she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
