I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
