Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
