the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
