we're blogging at a bar
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize