left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
