I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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