3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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