I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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