There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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