If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
