I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
