tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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