She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
