I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
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