Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize