goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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