Having a random hookup so left but love u
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
