I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
