4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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